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Forums / Female Performer Chat

My Vast Horde May Collapse Into a New Black Hole
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Female Performer Chat: My Vast Horde May Collapse Into a New Black Hole
dudley_do_ride
Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/11/12 @ 11:20pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224

Damn do_ride, you disappoint us

It was Hesiod (Epic Greek Poet) who also said:
Acquisition means life to miserable mortals.



I doan wanna woooooork... I doan wannaaaaa plaaaaay...

I jes wanna laze in the sun allllllll day.... heeeeeyaaaaaahh.


And... make...................... BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote
Brandi Williams
Created by: Brandi Williams

7/31/12 @ 4:28pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

I'm going to lay out by the pool.
:guitar
Quote
dudley_do_ride
Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/1/12 @ 1:42am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224


* muffled sounds of pool party in background *


Narrator: And so we have come full circle. The grasshopper nee model returns to whiling away her life in vain pursuits. The mountie nee ant has managed to accumulate another pile of boost points by his industry.

Looks like a loooooooooooooong winter for the grasshopper friends!


Quote
Brandi Williams
Created by: Brandi Williams

8/1/12 @ 2:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

dudley_do_ride
Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/2/12 @ 9:17am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224



Good evening and welcome to Myth Busters. In this episode we are going to test the myth that we can build a cruise ship using Dudley's vast supply of boost points and a magnet. This of course is inspired by the viral Aerosmith video which shows the group touring the Baltic in just this kind of vessel. Aren't their mountie uniforms cool?

So where do we start this time? Clearly a claim this bold needs to be verified at 1/100 scale first. We will start with: are boost points magnetic?

Magnetism is not like fire. You can't make anything magnetic just by turning up the field strength. It has to be a part of its character, a basic attribute. Nevertheless we have brought to M18 the world's most powerful magnet just in case, courtesy of the DoRide Field Laboratories. This beauty has played an essential role in fusion and fundamental particle research. Don't let your credit cards come anywhere near it!

So here we have a clamp that holds a single boost point, a laser gun to measure its speed, and a 100 meter track. We are going to see if we can accelerate the boost point over the sound barrier . Might as well verify two myths at once we say.

Hit the switch Laura! ( isn't she fine? show number 2 for her!)

* baaaaaaaaaaaaaroooooooooooooooooooom pfffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT KABOOM KABOOM KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM *

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. We have indeed broken the sound barrier with just one boost point and a large magnet. We are ready for the next test!

We'll be back after this brief word from our sponsor...

Quote
Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

8/2/12 @ 9:23am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

SHAMOO!!!!!
Quote
Brandi Williams
Created by: Brandi Williams

8/2/12 @ 1:57pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

*twitch*
*sizzle*

goddammit dudley, you caught my hair on fire again!

*stop*
*drop*
*roll*

oh for fuck's sake.... :mad
Quote
Christy Peach
Created by: Christy Peach

8/2/12 @ 2:03pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00



We'll be back after this brief word from our sponsor...




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Quote
Created by: co_do_certa

8/2/12 @ 2:18pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law.
Posts: 237



side effects may include:
blindness; shingles; dismemberment; an uncontrollable urge to ride a mounty; double vision; a sore arm; low grade fever; birth defects; an increased risk of suicidal tendencies; bouts of euphoria; diarrhea; burning; itching; numbness; shortness of breath; swelling of hands, feet, or neck; vomiting; yellowing of the eyes; yellowing of the teeth; increase in ejaculatory fluids; decrease in ejaculatory fluids; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever, chills, or persistent sore throat; increased sweating; joint pain; loss of appetite; memory problems; muscle pain, tenderness, or weakness (with or without fever and fatigue); pale stools; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; severe or persistent dizziness or light-headedness, persistent tingling; change in the amount of urlne produced; confusion; dark or red-colored urlne; dark, tarry, or bloody stools; decreased sexual ability; depression; fainting; and hallucinations. Seek immediate medical attention if you experience death or an erection lasting longer than 6 hours.




LMAO!

And, "Seek immediate medical attention if you experience death or an erection lasting longer than 6 hours."?! Classic! Hahaha!
Quote
dudley_do_ride
Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/3/12 @ 10:44am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224

* The camera pans over an audience that is in an excellent mood. Their teeth gleam eerily, unusually white. The residue from C02 extinguishers is in the hair of many. No one is quite the same as when they entered*

We are back! And ready to link our boost points into a canoe. This is one step toward a giant, luxurious cruise ship!

Now on some shows, none that YOU would watch of course, they cheat and use duct tape. Duct tape! That is like going to Home Depot and asking to buy cruise ship sections in a kit!

Boost points, on the other hand, are so fundamental, virtually elemental, that scientists have acknowledged that they are the next level of complexity above long polymer chains. Some argue that those chains even have more organizational, constituational complexity than the boost points.

Complexity is a major subject of study in many different areas of human endeavor. Our generous sponsor, DoRide Industries, is famous for its research in this area. We cannot go into the deep philosophical implications of boost point complexity, or even scratch the surface, we have to just touch upon it and move quickly on.

The bottom line is that we have to combine the points with other things to make use of them. In their elemental state they have many desirable low level qualities that make them perfect candidates for the formation of complex aggregates.

We have demonstrated magnetism. That will prove to be immensely important for our effort here. Also important is malleability. Conductivity. Notice also that they are birefringent. We can't stress enough this property's importance for making a smooth ride over the ocean waves. We'll show why in a moment.

To demonstate all the properties these unusually blessed building blocks possess would burn up the rest of our season and for some of them, expose our crew to unacceptable danger levels, so we are going to have to get on with forming some complex aggregations.

...

Quote
Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

8/3/12 @ 11:25am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

*eyes the duct tape in the AJAX Inc. box for the "Super Tanker of Dreams" kit* meh it sucks to be a coyote!
Quote
Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

8/4/12 @ 12:02pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793


...

Boost points, on the other hand, are so fundamental ...

To demonstate all the properties these unusually blessed building blocks possess would burn up

...




lol apparently you are using all of yours to keep one specific model on the top-20 list bahahahaha

*'wander's off*
Quote
dudley_do_ride
Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/4/12 @ 2:22pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224



lol apparently you are using all of yours to keep one specific model on the top-20 list bahahahaha

*'wander's off*



But of course... The mounties have manipulated the top 20 list for centuries to keep the warring crowns from scragging each other.

It makes the blood run cold to speculate upon the fate of this harried old globe without 'em.

Quote
Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

8/4/12 @ 2:50pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

lol it is of interest only in 'who' you have hung your hat on.
Quote
dudley_do_ride
Created by: dudley_do_ride

11/21/12 @ 5:45am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,224


My little ducks... (drip drip drip) there is trouble in flirtland... so they called us in... We're going over there... and bringing the most deadly populating device ever devised.

We're capable... of launching more firepower... than has been released by all previous generations. For one purpose only... TO FILL THAT EMPTY SPACE!!!

We constitute... the front line... and the last line... of all things manly. I expect and demand... your very best. Anything less... you should have joined the other side. This might be Fenwick's uniform... but this is my boat. And all I ask is that you... keep up with me. And if you can't... that strange sensation you will be feeling in the seat of your pants is my boot up your ass.

(hummmmmmmm hummmmmm hum hum hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)

Mr. Sundance!

Mr Sundance: Yes sir?

You are aware of the name of this ship aren't you Sundance?

Sundance; Very aware sir!

It bears a proud name doesn't it Mr. Sundance?

Sundance: Very proud sir!

It represents fine people.

Sundance: Very fine people sir!

Who live in a fine outstanding state.

Sundance: Ooowwwwwwwwwt-standing sir!

In the finest country in the world!

Sundance: In the eeeeeeeentire world sir!

And what is that name Mr Sundance?

Sundance: CaaaaaleeeefornIaye sir!

And what do we say?

Sundance: Gooooooooooooo Cali!

Crew: Goooooooooooooooo 'lith!

* trumpets klaxons rain really coming down *










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